Author: MJT
How to Find a Good Parenting Program
Parenting is the toughest job on the planet, but only a few
of us feel prepared to be good parents.
And then the day comes when a nurse hands you a kid and, ready or not,
you’re a parent. You’re immediately smitten and committed to being the best
mommy or daddy you can be for the sake of this child.
Most of us need some help parenting our kids at one time or
another, and there are some excellent programs available to help us. Some are better than others, so you’ll want
to evaluate each program before you sign up and pay them money.
Will it teach me how to communicate with my child?
A lot of parenting comes down to communication. We’d prefer not to communicate by yelling and
screaming at them, but our kids drive us nuts sometimes and we don’t know how
not to yell and scream. A good parenting
program will teach you how to communicate with your child, even when she is
pushing your buttons.
Will it focus on the whole family?
If you’re a parent, you’re part of a family and families are
systems. The members of a family
interact with one another to maintain the balance of the system. If one thing changes, something else has to
change to maintain that balance. If a
parenting program focuses exclusively on one parent, or on one child, it
probably won’t give you the tools you need.
Will it teach me effective ways to discipline my child?
It is no longer acceptable to punish children
physically. Some people feel that
spankings are fine, and they may be right, but the line between punishment and
abuse is so blurred that it’s just not a good idea to go there. A good parenting program should teach you age
appropriate, non-physical ways to discipline your child. It helps to remember that discipline and
punishment isn’t the same thing; discipline is a way of teaching your child
what is acceptable.
What’s my gut instinct?
We tend to ignore our intuition, but most of the time it’s
right on. Don’t choose a program that
makes you feel guilty, judged or punished.
Don’t sign on if you feel like a bad kid when you’re talking to
whoever’s in charge. Look for a
parenting program where you feel safe, comfortable and affirmed. You’re there to learn how to be a better
parent, not to get beat up for not being good enough.
You don’t have to be in crisis to look for a parenting
program, either. Sometimes it’s a good
idea to be proactive, and look for a program before the baby is born, or before
adolescence, or at some other point where you anticipate adjustment
problems. Enrolling in a parenting
program doesn’t mean you’re doing something wrong with your kids. On the contrary, it means you’re doing
something very right.
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